Well another years has came and now it's gone. It's scary how fast the year went by before you know it I'll be 30 AHHH!! what a scary thought, lol. sheesh.
But moving on. I wouldn't say it has been a great year for me but it has been a year of realization.
I realize that there was something wrong. The way I was feeling was not normal, the way I was acting was irregular. I was alone even when I was in a room full of people. The negative thoughts that filled my mind day to day were beginning to suffocate me, my efforts of grasping for air was getting exhausting, I was ready to give up...ready to rid these thoughts by solving my problem in an unhealthy way.
As I was falling and prepared to hit the rock bottom someone caught me. From there I have been able to stay above ground.
Because of my difficult time I never looked forward to a new year. It was another year of being trapped in this dark place, alone and wondering when the day will come that I finally give up on life.
This year it's different.
While everyone is looking to improve their lives in one way or another. I'm going to actually start living mine. I can't improve anything if I haven't experienced it first.
With that being said below is a list of resolutions/short term goals I want to accomplish in the new year. It's pretty simple and definitely possible.
1. Start traveling within my city more.
I've lived in NYC all my life and there are still places I haven't reached. I hear people talk about what an amazing place this is, granting it with so many compliments and whatnot, yet I couldn't relate to anything they were saying. Half of the places they named, I never even heard of. It's embarrassing actually.
2. Begin bar tending.
I cleared my training with the bar manager and a coworker of mine a couple of weeks ago yet I haven't made the effort to start. That's because I've been extremely busy at the job, I haven't had the time to donate. Hopefully once the craziness at the job dies down I can get my Wednesdays and Thursdays off again and use one of those days to train at the bar.
3. Read 50 books.
Reading has became an exciting hobby of mine. It takes my mind to a different place, a place that I enjoy. I read all types of books but I favor self improvements books.
4. Save $2000.00 and put it into a CD.
My bad spending habit has come to an end. I'm educating myself on money and the way it works. I can't have my money work for me if I don't any put away!
5. Learn more about photography.
My new hobby. I enjoying capturing moments that I know within the next few months we won't remember but with the pictures I capture our past will always be apart of us, in a physical way.
6. Be more consistent with the blog.
Yeah, I slack when it comes to my blog and I shouldn't because this blog is going to play a big part in my life within the next few months.
7. Begin driving more.
My sense of direction sucks and I need to be more comfortable behind the wheel. I had my license since the summer and probably drove on the highway about 4 times. So I need to start driving more, learn the road.
8. Pin down the school I want to attend in the fall.
This is probably the most important goal I want to achieve this year. I know that I want to attend a school in Canada but after talking to a few people it would probably be a better idea if I started out here first and then transfer. I have a pretty good idea of the school I'm going to apply to in the city and have looked up a few schools out there in Canada as well. Now all I need to do is actually apply to the school and then I'll have a good idea of where I want to take my life from there.
There is a crap load of things I would like to accomplish but at the moment none of them seem realistic. I don't want to get ahead of myself and list a bunch of goals I know I won't commit to. I'm going to take it one day at a time, slowing knocking them down one by one.
While doing that I'm going to enjoy my life, appreciate my family a lot more too because without them I don't think I will be able to do half of the things I want to do. The encouragement they entrust in me makes me want to do better in life, to accomplish great things and share my experiences with everyone. For that I thank them for being apart of my in a major way.
So come '09 I'm ready for you. Whatever you're going to throw at me, I'm fully prepared for the good times, as well as the bad times and the worse times. You won't catch me slipping this year, I promise.
"If God is for us then who is against us?"
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