I meant to post some time last night but got distracted when I thought it would be a nice gesture to talk to someone from my past. Right now I am having major regrets. I didn't think this person could effect me the way they use to; now I am going back to my bad habits. Checking my email to see if they left a message, went on AIM to see if they left an IM before we signed off last night. I went to bed with our disagreement still in the back of my mind causing it to still be on my mind when I woke up this morning.
I stayed away for months. Those feelings didn't exisit anymore; well atleast I thought they didn't. I want to tell them that I am completely done even if I'm not over what we had. I need to be because in reality it will never work out between us. I'm holding onto a dream that is never going to come true, which is such a dissappointment. I need to put what we had behind me and move forward with my life. I'm happy now, well as happy as I can get; content with my life at the moment. For once in my life I feel good about myself and my future. I don't need someone to come back into myself and have me go through this emotional rollercoaster I once indulged. I'm not over them, I know I'm not. If this person can still make me second guess myself, still happen to bring me down into a depressing state then they clearly have this hold on me. I can't blame anyone but myself.
This post was semi-depressing, I know. Just needed to get out how I felt considering this person played an important part in my life at one point. Believe that this will not be the last you've heard of them seeing how I can't put what we had behind me and move forward with my life.
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