And here I go

I have a few people come to me about the lack of posts on my blog. Last year I was greatly involved, this year I'm having a hard time keeping up with it. I'm not too okay with that.

This blog has been my everything.

I finally found a place where I can just say whatever is on my mind, whenever I feel like it.

I get to release it all.

And be proud of my work.

But the biggest thing it has done for me is made me realize my love for writing, of course with the help of my darling.

It helped me realize the kind of person I am and the kind of person I want to be.

It has made me look at everything in a different light. Everything I encounter is a potential blog post. A potential story.

It makes me want to read books, to learn more, to share knowledge.

This blog is my first love. I don't ever want to let this go.

I can sit here and make thousands of excuses to why I haven't been posting. But at the end of the day, it doesn't make me feel any better.

I have things to write about but to be completely honest, some times I'm too lazy to do the research.

Some times I am afraid to write because I think I won't have anything interesting to say but once I overcome that, my fingers just begin to move at a rapid speed and before I know it, I have paragraphs.

I am afraid because I don't know.

I don't know because I am afraid.

I have this poem, silly little poem, something that I wrote while I was getting my hair chopped off.

Oh! By the way, I totally cut all my hair off but I won't get into that right now, that definitely deserves it's own post but back to the poem. I wrote a poem, some thing I don't normally try to do because I always sound trite but for some reason I actually really like this.

Seeing right through you

thinking maybe I shouldn't

Avoiding the obvious

saying you couldn't

I can't be this naive

maybe I am not naive at all

and it's exactly what it seems

I pride myself on being different

everyone's past experience

has blessed me with wisdom

my views has changed

because my gut doesn't feel it

Is it love?

Or am I wishing?

Goodnight all and and happy October :)

Random Something

And I try to speak every word that's on my tongue

I can't let it out

because the feeling in my heart. 

I struggle to relief

and to reveal

hidden treasure, buried deep. 

I didn't finish it and I don't think I am. This piece is beautiful to me. 

Just Because...

Because I have been sleeping all day, I'm going to be up all night...bummer, considering some thing is bothering me and all I want to do is sleep it off, so that tomorrow I can continue my day and won't have to think about but I was tired today and had the worse headache, so whatever. I'll just blog my little heart out, read gossip blogs, and watch re-runs of "true blood" and season 2 of "Dexter".

Before I go any further with this post, I want to congratulate the Lakers for winning the championship game last night. There was no doubt in my mind that they weren't going to take it this year. I felt like Kobe and Phil Jackson really needed this one without Shaq. Haha reading that paragraph you would swear that I was into sports. Not really. I actually didn't watch one full game during the finales, only because I knew that the magics couldn't match up. Kobe alone could have handled the magics, but add the extra players...blow out!!! It wouldn't had been an exciting game at all, especially when it's so predictable. That doesn't take away from the fact that I think Dwight Howard is a sexy beast! *drools a little*

Alright onto the topic at hand. Actually there isn't anything in specific that I want to talk about. Just random bullshit. Today or should I say yesterday (considering it's 1:08 in the morning) was a pretty dull, stupid day. I went to work, on time after calling out yesterday due to a little stomach ache..... and in my mind I'm saying to myself "okay, I'm going to bust this shit out because I know I have a lot of work to tend to." Within the hour of sticking to my normal routine, my manager starts giving a bunch of random shit to do. Completely threw me off my game. At the end of the day, nothing was completed. She had to actually help me finish up my work which annoys me slightly because it's MY WORK! Though I know it was her only trying to help me so we both can get out of there at a decent time. But to me, my job is more than a place to make money, it's a place where I'm always challenging myself and pushing myself to the limit. There is times where I know I take on too much. For example, trying to reconcile the day, while answering phone calls for catering, then counting money while promising some one I was going to fix their time, faxing over some thing to some one, while making copies that is much needed...that's a fucking lot! But I take it voluntary because again I like pushing the limit. I want to know my breaking point. So far it hasn't happened. Today one of my managers asked me do I ever get pissed off by the job and joking I told him I do but only express it when I'm home by kicking down walls or beating my little sister up. The honest truth is, when it comes to the amount of workload I'm given, I never stressed out about it...even when there are times where I should be freaking the hell out, I remain calm, level headed. My theory is when you begin to stress out, you're only setting yourself up for failure. In your mind everything is out of order and there is no way you can fix it and even there is a possibility of fixing the situation you will not be able to because you're not thinking clearly. I vow to never let anything at my workplace stress me out to the point where I can't put it into perspective. I want to always be able to fix a situation, no matter how bad it is. So yeah, I guess I did get a little overwhelmed, considering I had a hell of a headache when I left or it can be the lack of water. 

Speaking of water I'm seriously slacking. All I have been drinking lately is soda...pepsi to be more exact. I tried to drink some ice tea but it was hot as fuck, didn't taste too good. So I came home, ate my food and went straight to bed. Not too sure how long I slept for but it was for a long ass time. It remains me of the time where I would come straight home from school, eat noodles and just pass the fuck out. Aww, how I don't miss those days. At all. Man I fucking hated high school. I hate everything high school represents. It's clearly not about learning when you're there. It was a fashion show, a hollywood party, a gossip column, a dating place...everything I was not into at the time. I could talk about how much I hate high school for days and it will probably be the best piece I have ever written. I'm lying.

Dude I wish I could sleep! There is nothing to fucking do and I need to sleep so I can get up early to hand in my application. Doesn't look like that is going to happen, seeing that I need to fill out a lot of stupid information and whatnot. I heard applying was the hardest part, so I'm not going to rush it or expect everything to fall into place at a certain time. I'll just let it flow. I'll probably just end up going to the library and taking a few pictures. Clear my mind, start working towards a better future. No more slacking!! 

 

Random shots

And when I say random, I mean random..Still new at this.