Blahness once Again.

I can't seem to pin down my feelings. It's been this way for a couple of days now. One word that would describe how I am feeling right now would be "blah". I'm not happy but I'm not sad. The future that I was once excited about has died now. I feel unenthusiastic about everything.

Just last week I was looking forward to becoming a bar tending and now that I got an ok from my manager and my co-worker is going to train me, I find myself backing out. I told him that we should wait until the holidays are over. Which translate to "I'm not so sure about this anymore."

I find myself not giving a damn about my appearance. I've been wearing the same jeans for 3 days now. Too lazy to iron another pair. Too lazy to look into my closet to pull out a nice shirt. Don't feel like doing my hair. I just get up and go.

And lately I haven't been wanting to leave the house. I love working. I love the feeling of being needed but now I'm like "fuck it". My alarm goes off at 6:50 am and I keep putting it on snooze. It goes off again and I do the same. I just want to stay in bed. Not go to work. Not do anything but sleep.

Everything that interested me a week ago, doesn't hold that same value in my mind at this moment. I was once on fire but it seems as if the flames had died down. Instead of going or preparing for my next move, I'm sitting here with a blank mind.

Hopefully it will go away as soon as it came.