Feeling The Need To Vent.

I totally didn't make this blog to talk about myself and what's going on in my boring ass life, because believe me nothing ever interesting happens to me. When they do and it's a rare occasion I don't know how to deal with it. My emotions tend to do all my thinking which usually causes me to say and do things I do not mean.

Tonight is no different. I put myself in a silly situation; talking to one of my friends, well ex friends ex boyfriend and let's say it didn't turn out how I imagine. Basically I started to like the guy. First mistake. Since I do not know how to control my emotions just yet, I didn't want to feelings to get invovled add that to him being my friend's ex guy then we have a huge problem.

But I did and my moto is that you can't help how you feel, right? That's the thing I didn't like about gaining these feelings. I would much rather be just friends with a person; do what you are going to do and I am going to do the same. At the end of the day we can chill and do what we do, together. Yeah I'm well aware that probably didn't make any sense but try to keep up.

I've come to the conclusion that relationships are not for me. Relationships covers a lot of emotions. I hate dealing with emotions therefore I plan to stay away. There are times where I feel like a loser because I haven't been with someone in such a long time but then I sit back and wonder why would I want to be in one? Why invest value time with someone knowing that in a year or so it will be over? Why fight or cry or make myself go insane by thinking about this person when I know that it isn't going to last? Why put myself through that stress? I won't. I've almost did, recently but I started to think too much about him, wondering what he was doing, when I was going to see him, getting attach. I had to stop, think and completely revaluate my thinking process. I can do without emotions, it's a distraction. I'm focus and have to remain this way if I'm going to make it in this world.